Saturday, July 5, 2014

You Are Here Tonight

I know there are a lot of important things going on in the world that maybe I should in some way be attending, but you are here tonight. 

          I really like Hafiz's thought and how it exemplifies the active presence needed in relationships.   There are other things, other people, and other opportunities that we could be pursuing, but instead, we choose this person, this time, this moment. We should conduct our lives in this way as well.
          Something that I struggle with contemplating in my own relationship, is my fourteen year age gap with my boyfriend. I wonder most about his physical body failing him long before mine does, and the things that this might cause me to one day give up - mountain climbing, constant adventure, active-centered travel, etc. I wonder about his health and mind failing him long before mine does, that I'd have to become his caretaker instead of his wife. And I wonder about the younger years of life too, the children that might happen earlier than I intended, the house that wasn't his first home purchase, etc. So on my mission trip I confided with my new friends about this.
           Most told me the advice I had received before, that I shouldn't focus on that side of the future, that I wouldn't necessarily outlive him, that I wouldn't necessarily be without health issues of my own, etc. That the connection between two souls always outlives the connection between two bodies, and that the latter would never be enough anyway. Then, one guy ended up giving me what seemed like more difficult advice, that now I believe it the correct advice. He told me I should ask these questions, not just for this guy, but any guy that I consider marrying. Would I love him if he were confined to a wheelchair? Would I love him if he no longer remembered me? Would I love him if he became physically impaired to such a decapitating degree? Would I love him because I made a promise to honor and be faithful to his soul all the days of my life? He told me that in this regard, age doesn't matter, but how I answer these questions does. Then he told me the story of his aunt and uncle (who was diagnosed with advanced MS and is now severely disabled), only a few years apart in age, but now a lifetime apart in spirit because their answers to the difficult questions were "no". I am so thankful and grateful for this advice, and suggest anyone in a serious relationship asks this of themselves.

  My Wish (2006), Rascal Flatts

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